You Leaf-Bagging Son of a B*tch

Hi. Our names are Trent and Alyssa. And we have a leaf problem. Every time we seem to get control of it, somehow the leaves just show up. It’s not that we want them to – we just can’t help it. We’ve tried to quit. But it seems hopeless. The meetings seem to be helping…

Below you’ll find a step by step guide to Alyssa’s leaf-bagging strategy. I think it’s pretty genius, but that could be simply because I’m partial to burritos. Nonetheless, I’ll be referring to Alyssa as Bagger Vance every autumn for the foreseeable future. I’ve told her she should go to the special school for leaf-bagging wizards: Bagwarts.

Tools and Gear You’ll Need:

• Ryobi Lawn & Leaf Bag
• Small Tarp
• Rake
• 55-Gallon Contractor Bags
• Gloves (only if your hands aren’t already hardened like those of a grizzled sailor)

Step 1: Set up your Ryobi Lawn and Leaf Bag

Step 2: Get a small tarp – this is a 6′ x 8′ tarp* folded in halvsies. Put it on the ground. Beside the leaves.

Step 3: Rake the leaves onto the tarp. It is usually better to have your wife or girlfriend do this while you take photos and drink a beer.

Step 4: Pick up the corner of the tarp to roll it up. Like a burrito.

Step 5:  Start making that leaf burrito.

Step 6: Pick up that delicious deciduous delicacy

Step 7: Put the whole thing in the Ryobi bag.

Step 8: Pull up the sides of the plastic bag to prevent spillage.

Step 9: Pull out the tarp, relegating those leaves to a bewildered state. Stupid leaves.

Still confused, dum-dum? Check out the video for more heart-pounding action:

*Note: I say the tarp is a 9′ x 12′ in the video. I lied. It’s a 6′ x 8′.